I Have a Routine and It Sets Me Free

Members of my Facebook group know that I have been sick for about two weeks. It’s why I missed a week writing on Medium; it’s why my social media presence has slowed down; it’s why I’m writing this post a few days later than I normally would. On a scale of 1-10, this was a level 8 disruption to my routines. Getting back into my routine feels good. The more I take my routines back up, the better I know I’m feeling.

It wasn’t always this way for me. I was the one who resisted routines. Enamored with the idea of spontaneity and swept up in an attitude of “carpe diem,” I strenuously avoided all hints of a routine. I stayed in jobs that were terrible for me because “at least I know that every day will be different.” What I didn’t understand at the time was how much energy I expended to maintain a routine-less life. And how much I was lying to myself: the routines were there, just hidden.

Surprise – I Already Had a Routine

One of the first things I learned when I started getting treatment for my bipolar disorder was that routines would be my friends. “Routine,” like the word “budget,” was anathema to me; I could practically feel myself breaking out in hives whenever the word came up. Routines felt restricting and constricting, conjuring up the image of a straitjacket, and all I wanted was to feel free. Even so, my therapist stressed that routines were a critical part of my self-care.

As we walked through the conversation, however, I began to realize how many routines I already have in my life. My morning coffee ritual? A routine. The process I follow to get my daughter to and from school every day? A routine. Turning on the right music and setting up my workspace for writing? Another routine. The routines were already there, hiding in plain sight. I just wasn’t acknowledging them as such.

Once I realized this, my focus shifted to making sure that my routines were positives for my mental health, not negatives. I followed a 5-step process to help me determine which routines to keep, which to tweak, and which to replace. Ultimately, I’ve put in place a number of routines that help me function in my day. My results have surprised me.

Having a Routine Frees Up Energy

What I’ve found in these routines is freedom, not restriction. In automating key parts of my day (like how and when I do my makeup and establishing a breakfast routine), I’ve removed the energy it takes to make decisions. As a consequence, I have more energy to devote to the activities that are most important to me.

I was surprised by this until I heard about research that confirms my experience. We all know that doing tasks can be wearing; physical labor takes a toll on our bodies. White-collar workers understand that a task doesn’t have to be physical to be tiring; some of my toughest and longest days have been ones where I’ve sat in front of a keyboard and stared at a screen all day. What these tasks have in common is that they are defined as tasks; we think of them as work units, and we expect work units to require energy.

We don’t think the same way when it comes to decisions.

At their core, however, decisions are simply another type of task. Do I eat my bag lunch or eat out today? Do I take a walk in the park, or do I work through my lunch? Coke or Pepsi? Each of these decisions, regardless of size, sap energy from us. The more we can automate little pieces of our lives and our decisions, the more energy we have for our true priorities. Steve Jobs was famous for wearing only black turtlenecks; it was his way of removing one decision from his day.

Which brings me back to routines. When I first focused on my routines, I was focused on the “doing” part. Making sure I had journaling time. Making sure I had quiet time. Making sure that I ate consistently. My focus was ensuring that I had self-care built into my day.

Now I realize that the real gift to myself was in automating my days. While I’ve added tasks (such as journaling), I’ve removed decisions. The more executing my routines becomes automatic, the more energy I have left.

Organizing My Day by Priorities Makes a Difference

And, it’s helped me prioritize my routines. Every day, I have a big chunk of open time for focusing on whatever the priority is for the day. It could be writing, it could be planning, it could be reaching out to people in my ministry or designing graphics for the website. Whatever that key task is for the day, I know it needs to be one of the first things I do, when I’m freshest. I used to journal as part of my morning routine; that’s been moved to later in the day. I used to do an hour of house-cleaning before stepping into my office for the day; that’s now an afternoon activity.

Truthfully, my heart wasn’t in writing when I sat down to start writing this post on this particular morning. But I knew I needed to do it today, and I knew that if I waited, I was more likely to push it off another day. Even if I did write it, the quality wouldn’t be the same (and you deserve high quality writing from me!).

In a couple of hours, you will find me leaning over the dryer, folding clothes and pushing a vacuum. If I did those activities first, I would not just be spending physical energy, but mental energy, too. The writing simply wouldn’t happen. I don’t know why it works that way for me, but it does.

The last benefit I’ve gotten from consciously implementing routines is that I know that if I miss something – if I decide to spend a day at the park instead whatever I usually do on that day – I will be back in the swing of things again tomorrow. The more I maintain my routines, the easier it is to maintain my routines.

So, here I am recovering after being knocked down for two weeks and I’m slowly getting back into my routines. I may not be executing them fully quite yet (I still tire more easily than normal), but every routine I’m able to step back into gives me confidence and encouragement. I know if I stick to my routines, I will get caught back up more quickly than I would have just a couple years ago.

Far from being a straitjacket, my routines are what set me free.

What about you? What routines do you have? What are your experiences with routines?